Transcript: Taking Down Your Profile

On Dating
Episode “Taking down your profile”

Andrea Syrtash: When do you know its time to take down your online profile ad pursue a relationship in the real world? I will answer this common question today with some advice. I am Andrea Syrtash, and this Is On Dating.
Q: How would you feel if you were interested in someone who still had a dating profile on a online dating site?
Man on street: I might be really worried about that.
Woman on street: I really wouldn’t be happy about that at all.
Man on street: I would be a little uncomfortable with it and it would be something we would have to talk about.
Woman on street: I mean if they are honestly still looking for people that’s not cool, if we already had that discussion that it’s a committed relationship, but if it’s not a committed relationship that’s fine.
Man on street: I wouldn’t care if someone had a online dating profile when I was dating them.
Woman on street: I think that that is a kind of form of cheating.
Woman on street: If it looks like they logged in recently I might be a little concerned.
Woman on street: I wouldn’t love it I would ask them about it and ask if they were still actively using the online dating profile.
Andrea Syrtash: The majority of people dating online hope that one day they can take down their profile and peruse a relationship. Knowing when to take the profile down or if you should ask someone to do that for you is a very sensitive subject. I am here to help. Consider the fact that the people you are going out with are probably looking online to monitor your current online activity, just as you may be looking at theirs.
Very few people admit this but it is a common reality of online dating. So leaving your profile up or taking it down will send a message. What are you prepared to say? There is no formula about when to go offline and focus on one person. It should be intuitive. There are a few questions to ask yourself though, before you cancel your membership for someone else.
Are you still interested in going out with new people or is one person on your mind most of the time?
Have you spent significant time with the person you’re ready to cancel your membership for?
Have you interacted with him or her outside of email and IM chats?
Do you have a sense that the person you like is on the same page?
Have you met this person’s friends or family?
One of the challenges about dating online is that there seems to be a endless array of people to date every day of the week. But you will have a idea when these people aren’t looking quite as appealing as they used to.
People often ask me if they should tell someone their dating that they are still on a dating site. These people want to know the proper etiquette or in this case the netiquette. Remember staying online when your dating someone is the same as going to a bar to pick up. So ask yourself should your date know your still on the market?
Perhaps, if you have been intimate or talked a lot about your future plans together that’s probably a clue that your date should be filled in before he or she figures it out in some other way.
Finally there is the issue of finding someone your interested in is still on a dating site. In most case sits best to not make accusations like I noticed you on a dating site last night from ten thirty to midnight. That probably won’t go over well.
A better approach is to simply check in on the relationship in a positive way. Say something like you know I am really enjoying this time together and I think for now I am going to take down my online profile. Make a joke of your cyber decision. Thi8s will probably open up the conversation without either side getting defensive or freaked out.
Bottom line taking your profile down is simply a gesture to show the person you are dating that you are no longer interested in surfing or sleeping around. One more thing to remember it does not have to be all or nothing when it comes to dating online. If you take down your online profile, you can always join later.
Thanks for watching On Dating and remember, even a bad date makes a good story so get out there and always have fun. I am Andrea Syrtash see you next time.